Pro-choice? Women, not Men Choose Marriage Relationship

Many object to polygyny because of a latent feminism. By feminism, I simply mean, they believe women are at a disadvantage in the transaction. Men get more than one mate, and they are in control.

But nature teaches us something completely different. As evolutionary biologists know, in most creatures, it's the male that's beautiful. He is appealing for a female mate, who chooses or rejects him. Get that? The female chooses!

This is true in humans as well. Comedians get a great deal of fodder out of this phenomenon; that is, women know if they're going to get laid tonight, while guys work for it, hope for it, and generally make asses out of themselves to get it.

Men are applying. Women are approving or declining. In sexual relations, women hold the cards.

And the natural reasons for this are obvious. Women have a lot more at stake in the sexual transaction. They are the ones who must be careful for a host of reasons, not the least of which is pregnancy.

So if a man has two wives, it's usually safe to assume they chose him.

And rather than have a feminist reaction, it might be better to ask why they chose as they chose as they did?

Healthy individuals act in ways that they believe will bring them happiness.

Everyone assumes that the male in a polygamist marriage enjoys more sex and sexual variety. People tend to settle down after the honeymoon, so that may, or may not be true. But what do the women get from this arrangement? That is the question that should be asked.

Well, maybe they know a good man when they see one: One who treats them with decency and respect. A man who appreciates them and demonstrates it. A man who is affectionate and would never abuse them. A man who holds down one or more jobs, provides for his family, and spends time with his children.

Believe it or not, such men are in short supply.

Now a woman with a man who is disrespectful and rude, who is insulted and lonely, who sleeps alone or feels like she does even if "lumpy" is snoring next to her, who has suffered abuse, and lives with a deadbeat, who ignores, or worse, abuses the children, is she better off than a woman who shares a decent man?

Men are required to behave better, work harder, and meet emotional needs in a society that permits polygyny. Women may benefit in several ways, not the least of which is from having better choices still available to them.