Twelve Brothers, Four Mothers, One Man, God's Plan

Jacob, a.k.a., Israel, was a polygamist. God selected him to be the father of a great nation -- His people. And he had twelves sons who (basically) became the tribes of that nation. How could God choose such an immoral relationship as the basis for a nation?

Perhaps it wasn't -- and still isn't -- the least bit immoral.

Leah was Jacob's first wife. She wasn't favored by Jacob, but God saw her distress and favored her with Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, the four eldest children. Later she would give birth to Issachar and Zebulun (as well as a daughter, Dinah).

Rachel, Jacob's favored wife, was barren and wanted to even the score. She gave her handmaiden to her husband as a concubine, Bilhah -- not even a wife. So...

Bilhah gave birth to Dan and Naphtali, who were considered equal sons.

Leah sought to stay ahead in this race, so she too gave her handmaiden, Zilpah, as a concubine for Jacob. So...

Zilpah gave birth to Gad and Asher.

Finally, Rachel gave birth to Joseph and Benjamin.

Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that this was the ideal relationship -- a norm on which to pattern your marriage. Leah was married to Jacob as part of a deception by her father, and it doesn't sound like Jacob loved her as he should've. Bilhah and Zilpah probably didn't have much choice in the matter, given that they were slaves. The family itself was, in many ways, full of dysfunction.

Yet the point should not be missed: Nowhere in Scripture are these conjugal relationships condemned -- not ever, not once, and not even slightly. Jacob is not accused of adultery or fornication. Nor are his wives and concubines of any sin for marrying and/or bearing Jacob's children.

Who wishes to cast the first stone at this man and these women? If God did not prohibit or condemn plural marriage -- if God didn't call it sin -- should we?

If so, on what basis?

"In Essentials, Unity; in Non-essentials, Liberty; in All Things, Charity."

Pro-choice? Women, not Men Choose Marriage Relationship

Many object to polygyny because of a latent feminism. By feminism, I simply mean, they believe women are at a disadvantage in the transaction. Men get more than one mate, and they are in control.

But nature teaches us something completely different. As evolutionary biologists know, in most creatures, it's the male that's beautiful. He is appealing for a female mate, who chooses or rejects him. Get that? The female chooses!

This is true in humans as well. Comedians get a great deal of fodder out of this phenomenon; that is, women know if they're going to get laid tonight, while guys work for it, hope for it, and generally make asses out of themselves to get it.

Men are applying. Women are approving or declining. In sexual relations, women hold the cards.

And the natural reasons for this are obvious. Women have a lot more at stake in the sexual transaction. They are the ones who must be careful for a host of reasons, not the least of which is pregnancy.

So if a man has two wives, it's usually safe to assume they chose him.

And rather than have a feminist reaction, it might be better to ask why they chose as they chose as they did?

Healthy individuals act in ways that they believe will bring them happiness.

Everyone assumes that the male in a polygamist marriage enjoys more sex and sexual variety. People tend to settle down after the honeymoon, so that may, or may not be true. But what do the women get from this arrangement? That is the question that should be asked.

Well, maybe they know a good man when they see one: One who treats them with decency and respect. A man who appreciates them and demonstrates it. A man who is affectionate and would never abuse them. A man who holds down one or more jobs, provides for his family, and spends time with his children.

Believe it or not, such men are in short supply.

Now a woman with a man who is disrespectful and rude, who is insulted and lonely, who sleeps alone or feels like she does even if "lumpy" is snoring next to her, who has suffered abuse, and lives with a deadbeat, who ignores, or worse, abuses the children, is she better off than a woman who shares a decent man?

Men are required to behave better, work harder, and meet emotional needs in a society that permits polygyny. Women may benefit in several ways, not the least of which is from having better choices still available to them.